Age Brings Acceptance
by Sheri Wallace

The exact reasons for these changes were not immediately apparent, but Fingerman notes, "Young women need to establish themselves in the grown-up world. Their mothers play a central role in this process. Therefore, younger mothers and daughters tend to focus on the daughter and her life." Hence, the frequent phone calls, but less frequent visits as the daughters build their independent lives.

Topics of conversation

The subject matter of our visits with our mothers changes over time as well. Sheri White, 34, confides, "We talked about a lot of things when we were younger. We could even talk about sex! I used to be able to tell her anything."

Fingerman says, "As women grow older, they are more invested in the family as a whole. The older mothers and daughters show a greater investment in the daughter's siblings, partners, and children."

White agrees with this: "When we visit now, we mostly talk about my kids and other family goings-on. Deep conversations about real things that matter aren't my mother's strong suit."